How This Introverted Mom Is Surviving the Coronavirus Quarantine
I love my family with all my heart — I really do. My husband makes me laugh like no one else can, and my nine-year-old son is so smart, kind, and creative. But God, they sure do talk a lot. If I have learned one thing from this coronavirus crisis (you know, other than the fact that this country is doomed), I’ve learned that I really am the introvertiest of introverts who just misses her alone time.
See, while this coronavirus quarantine seems like a detriment to extroverts who want nothing more than to be outside and socialize, it’s just as much torture for us hibernating bears whose once-empty caves have been indefinitely invaded.
What It Means to Be an Introvert
So, what is an introvert, anyway? In the simplest of terms, we’re people who are fueled by alone time. So, of course, the opposite — social events — leaves us feeling drained. We find peace in silence and solitude, having little desire for meaningless conversations and small talk.
Of course, introversion and extroversion are on a spectrum, which means that people who identify with either classification come in many different shapes and sizes. You may identify with a combination of each.
But me? I’m pretty sure I’m like 97% introverted. I’d choose a glass of wine and a book before a party any day.
Our family’s “norm” before the virus
I started working from home right before my now-10-month-old son was born. I’m fortunate to be able to freelance, which means I can choose my hours around the baby’s schedule and work in sweatpants. Hubby has a job in tech that allowed him to partially work remotely even before the virus. He worked from home two days out of the week anyway, so it wasn’t too big of a transition for him to go completely remote.
However, during The Normal Times, on the days that my husband went to work and my older son went to school, I had the whole house to myself. I got to listen to music as loud as I wanted, or be silent, talk to myself, read, work, and just be alone for a few hours. I got those treasured energy-fueling hours before picking up my son from school and waiting for hubby to get home from work.
But with the virus and the forced yet necessary quarantine, our norm has changed. Hubby is now home five days out of the week, and our eldest son (who is an extroverted Gemini) is now home from school. (Not to mention, we also had to move during the quarantine to a new, downsized L.A. apartment. While we totally love the new place, it comes with changes, AKA us being even more on top of each other with less space and fewer rooms to escape to.)
Things That Are Helping Me Find Peace
There is a light at the end of the tunnel these new lifestyle changes brought. I’m one of the American citizens ready and willing to face more months of quarantine, so I’ve started to learn to adapt. I’d much rather continue living a healthy life than fight to get into the movie theaters or a nail salon and risk contracting the deadly virus. (It’s just Red Lobster, girl.)
As an introvert, I was truly a homebody, anyway. I did my own nails and hair, only leaving the house for groceries, and ordering food for delivery like nobody’s business. I guess you could say I was made for the quarantine life.
But, the forced social aspect of quarantine has made me find new, creative ways to enjoy a little alone time, even if it’s brief.
Big bro is the perfect playmate
My older son loves being a big brother. So, my husband and I have started taking advantage of this while in quarantine. Kai “babysits” his little brother, Liam when I need a few minutes. I use quotes here because all he’s doing is sitting on the living room floor, playing with the baby to distract him from the fact that Mommy is in the other room doing dishes or, God-forbid, eating lunch without him.
Being okay with working in short bursts
With more distractions at home all day (again, I love my family) and the baby staying awake and alert for more hours of the day, I’ve started to work in shorter bursts during the day while the baby sleeps. And, I’m learning to be okay with working nocturnally.
I’ve stopped trying to tackle things while the baby is awake because it was becoming too stressful and not productive at all. Liam’s at the 10-month old stage where he’s incredibly needy and has separation anxiety. He loves playing “Grab Mommy’s Macbook” and climbing Mommy Mountain until I put my phone or laptop aside. So, instead of trying to work through this, I’m embracing these moments that’ll be gone before I know it.
Waking up before the rest of the house for yoga
The one routine that we, fortunately, have been able to keep is our morning wake time. So, I have also used this to my advantage. I’ve started to get up a little earlier than the rest of the family (yes, even the baby) to do yoga. My particular fave is none other than Yoga with Adriene. She makes the sequences approachable for even beginners whose backs are sore from Quarantine Laziness.
While this early-rising definitely does not happen every day, I do notice a difference in my mood on the days I go without these 30 minutes of alone time to start my day. It feels good to attempt that physical activity doctors advise you to do regularly.
Releasing my homeschool stress
At the start of the virus, I was very much concerned about my son’s education and his teacher’s ability to keep up with virtual learning. It quickly reached the point where I Type-A’d the situation, building a daily schedule for him, ready to prep an assignment for a book report when my husband told me to calm tf down.
My son’s teacher soon got a consistent plan together for the class and got the kids access to new learning platforms. And who’da thunk it: he’s been fine without me hovering.
He almost always has enough work to last him until just around lunchtime, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. It could be because he’s rushing through his work, or he’s too smart for the work, or it could be because the teacher’s going easy on the kids. Either way, we’re in a crisis and the thing that matters most is that we’re home, safe, and healthy.
I can’t expect him to do eight full hours of instruction without the formal environment, so I’ve let us get away with lax school rules and just let him be a kid.
Sending the big kid outside
My family and I are also fortunate to have a clean, grassy courtyard inside our gated apartment complex where the neighborhood kids have started to flock after it hit 80 degrees. Kai has started to play outside with his new friends (no more than 10 because coronavirus), which is great, because he gets the social interaction and exercise he needs.
My son is definitely an extrovert, and having two mostly introverted parents means he’s not getting the endless conversation at home that he’s so used to at school.
Suggestions for the Quarantined Introvert
Say you’re an introvert like me. I’d hope so, seeing as you’ve made it to the end of the blog. You’d be a pretty empathetic extrovert to get this far. Anyway, if you’re an introvert, you may be looking for some ways to find that zen-like quiet before the virus forced all your family members home.
Start by being honest with yourself and your family. Say what you need to say. Ask them to allow you an hour or so each day to have uninterrupted quiet time to yourself. It’s okay to say politely, “I do not have the capacity to talk right now. I’d like to go [insert introverted activity] for a while and I’ll be ready to talk then.” That way, you don’t hurt any feelings, and you’ve given yourself permission to break away and refuel.
During your specified quiet time, try one of these classic #introvert activities:
- Taking a solo walk
- Meditating
- Reading a new book (or one that you’ve read 27 times already, no judgment)
- Journaling your feelings away
- Cooking a fun recipe
- Yoga or other video workouts
- Gardening
- Binge-watching your favorite show
- Putting together a jigsaw puzzle
- Listening to a podcast
We could be in this for a while, ya’ll. Hold tight, and remember that staying home can save lives. Peace!
